Antique Electric Fans
Sport and Classic Car Company
Billions of Car Parts Company
10525 Airline Drive Houston, Texas 77037
On a Car Trek since 1976
Going where no website has gone before!
Rolls-Royce and Bentley parts specialists since 1976
All long and winding roads lead to our doors
The Hub of the British Car Cosmos
Where cars become stars
Give us a ring! 281.448.4739
or click here >>> Send us an e-mail
2016 times of operation : 9:00 am to 5:30 pm Central Standard Time or thereabouts Mondays through Fridays.
Please allow us to introduce ourselves
as men of tools and taste
We usually have lot to say about cars and parts of cars because we have been working with and driving these cars for a long time. We don't mince words as we like them whole and plentiful thus brevity is not overly abundant on our website and run on sentences much like the number of nuts and bolts on Rolls-Royce or Bentley cars are absolutely rampant. Our website continues to expand much like a waistline over the years as we continually experience automotive works of interest and write about them so if you are too multitasked to read more than a few words then you might like to look at the pictures.
Our website offers a great deal of useful technical information and as every picture tells a story we have lots of photographs of cars and photographs of parts of cars. We even have photographs of photographs of cars. Every photo can be expanded for better viewing by clicking on them. Woven though our website are storytelling passages about British cars with various ways to avoid or solve many car related problems. The revelation and dissection of certain automotive truths and untruths are revealed if you read with concentrated interest.
For the last 40 years we have been dedicated to supplying spare parts and offering many restorative and rebuilding services for Rolls-Royce, Bentley, Jaguar, MG, Triumph, Austin Healey, Bristol, Morgan, Morris and vintage Mercedes-Benz as we supply parts for Mercedes-Benz cars from the 1950's to right now. The Mercedes-Benz cars we work with tend to be cars of particular interest such as the 190sl. Although the supply of new parts is a major aspect of what we do, we are about much more as we actually repair and rebuild these cars and various assemblies from them. Sometimes our parts fellow does restoration and rebuilding work between phone calls so might be rebuilding something intricate with all four of his hands so please leave a message on our recorder if the phone is not speedily answered.
We do not track, spy or inflict advertising cookies on visitors to our website.
New articles, revisions and photos are often done and soon this introduction will no longer be very short so it ends with the little period right over there .
Table of Contents or What's going on?
Rolls-Royce cars and Bentley cars restoration and services
Our Bentley and Rolls-Royce car parts and restoration departments are renowned throughout most of the Milky Way! This popular chapter expounds about specific Rolls-Royce and Bentley repairs with servicing information gets into the restoration and repair of various systems and includes storytelling lessons if you will about our experiences working with these great cars. Knowledge is power as they say so have some on us.
Spare Parts for Bentley and Rolls-Royce cars
Henceforth and forevermore until we do something different all parts listings with photos and descriptions will be in this chapter although Part One also has considerable parts related information that will probably stay there unless we get editorially vigorous. We offer over 50,000 new factory OE Bentley and Rolls-Royce parts and when the factory no longer supplies something, may offer alternatives as we are always problem solving.
Bentley Continental GT parts Rolls-Royce Silver Cloud parts
Bentley Arnage Parts Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow parts
Bentley Azure parts Rolls-Royce Corniche parts
Bentley Turbo R parts Rolls-Royce Crewe built Phantom parts
Bentley Continental parts Rolls-Royce Silver Spur parts
Bentley Flying Spur Parts Rolls-Royce Silver Spirit parts
Bentley T parts Rolls-Royce Silver Dawn parts
Bentley S parts Rolls-Royce Flying Spur parts
Bentley Mulsanne parts Rolls-Royce Silver Wraith parts
Bentley Brooklands parts Rolls-Royce Hi Ho Silver parts
Bentley Eight parts Rolls-Royce Silver Seraph parts
British Automobile Spare Parts
We offer a gigantic and humongous as well as massive and absolutely supercalifragilisticexpialidocious number of new and renovated spare parts for British cars other than Rolls-Royce and Bentley such as vintage Jaguar E-Type and MK and XJ series. We supply Austin Healey 3000, 100/6 and Sprite parts as well as MG cars like the MGTD and MGTF, MGA and MG Midget, MGB and MGB-GT, MGC and MG Magnette and many Triumph models such as TR3 and TR4, TR6, Stag and Spitfire so you never know what we can provide unless you ask. However asking for a perfect and rare something like the Maltese Falcon that is 40 or 50 years or more old and wanting this something for little to nothing is the stuff that dreams are made of. Some parts do require an operational time machine to locate such as a request for a perfect original (made in 1961 by original card carrying Jaguar elves) interior for a 1961 Jaguar E-Type Roadster or for used but need to be perfect plastic tail lamp lenses for a 50+ year old Rolls-Royce. These sort of things we still supply new.
Bits of Bother
Photos and stories about vintage Jaguar, MG, Triumph, Jensen Healey, Mercedes-Benz and Austin Healey restorations we have done or are doing so as to provide the gentle reader a notion of what such work involves.
Bad repairs can result in premature hair loss
We repair and rebuild just about anything that is worth doing a good job on as long as the assembly is not available new or is available new yet may be costly enough to justify the time and materials required to do a proper rebuild. Our capabilities are quite extensive and this chapter contains many interesting examples of vintage Jaguar, MG, Triumph, Jensen Healey, Austin Healey and more repair actions. We also show some interestingly botched repair jobs sent to us for reverse botching.
Gallery O' Parts
Featuring some but by no means all of the rare, uncommon and unusual parts or objects of desire that we have available.
Specialty Tires and Specialty Tyres
We supply tires in sizes that actually fit in popular sizes for 1952-1980 MG cars, 1952-1980 Triumph cars, all Austin Healey, Bristol 409 and certain vintage Jaguars like XK120, XK140, XK150, all Jaguar E-Types, Jaguar MK saloons and and other British sports cars as well as Mercedes Benz 190sl and Porsche 356. We also supply tires for Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow.
Something Wicked This Way Drives
Information on how to avoid buying a "Formerly Known as a Car". These are cars that have become piles of automotive distress through no fault of their own. Some cars have been falsified using various tricks to enable them to masquerade as nice cars for just long enough to sell them to unsuspecting buyers. We have seen much of this sort of thing over the years. We do have a few interesting cars for sale. You should buy them before someone else does.
At this time we are donating 100% of the proceeds from used parts sales to animal rescue groups. Our management supports many animal rescue groups like Habitat for Horses and Husky Haven and Texas Sled Dog Rescue and Texas Husky Rescue. We foster dogs, cats and other rescue animals on a regular basis. Lots of great cars and machines were named after animals and we have many clients that like to ride around with their dogs and cats. We think that calling a car a dog is a great compliment to the car! If cars were as reliable and trustworthy as dogs, we would be out of business! No worries there though.
At the top of this page and every page are icon keys that when clicked will take you to specialized areas about cars, parts, restorations and explanations about the many services and car stuff we offer. Our website has been growing and evolving just about since the internet went public so there is quite a bit of specific knowledge tucked away in the nooks of the site not to be found in books that may help a person avoid getting caught by the hooks of the crooks.
Bentley & Rolls-Royce . (vintage Jaguar) MG . Triumph . Austin Healey. Morgan . Austin Healey . Jensen . Morris . Jensen Healey . Bristol . Daimler.
We also provide parts for vintage Mercedes Benz cars because we like them.
We wish for everyone to be healthy, wise and in these challenging times, employed or otherwise fortunate enough to own and drive fine vintage (or potentially fine) cars as well as their daily drivers (vintage cars of the future).
We can possibly be of assistance if the car is not listed in the above Box o'Cars. You just never know until you ask now do you?
>>>>>> Send us an e-mail <<<<< about your parts or service requirements. We like e-mails as they create a record we can work from as our mental circuits can be forgetful at times. Photographs sent by cell phone are very small for our steadily aging eyeballs to see well. We like to look at photographs of parts you are looking for or asking about on our LARGE computer screens. Please keep in mind that most days we receive lots of genuine e-mail enquiries along with massive mountains of junk and spam emails. For long lists of parts, complex requests or any sort of spare parts request, an e-mail with year, model and VIN really work best. We do not do a web shopping cart as we still like to actually converse with our clients and we have found that many owners or shops are unaware of enough specifics to order the correct parts so we like to make sure that you get what you need. This is what we do.
Many car part requests require accurate research through our vintage paper parts books, computer data bases and vintage memories so please be patient as some of the vintage parts info is not on computer data bases and is in our collection of ancient and delicate parts tomes. Don't forget to include the year, model and VIN or chassis number if possible for cars you are working with as this information greatly speeds up the process. In the subject line of your e-mail, please type the make of your car so we will see the email is not another Spam Scam. If you do not receive an answer in a reasonable timeframe your enquiry may have been lost in our spam filter or who know where it went so don't give up. Send it again! The internet is not perfect and neither are we but we still want to help your car attain the degree of perfection that you want if we can.
Very few firms still possess the direct experience we have earned from working with these cars for such a long time because knowledgable people retire or have moved to a different dimension. If you are not an enthusiast, you might just blossom into one as you read our stuff as these cars are amongst the most fun to drive that were ever built. Every vintage car is unique and has it's own driving and esthetic characteristics because they were built by the inventive hands of man and woman.
Sometimes we receive phone calls from car owners that have been texting us. They wonder why it is that there is no response. This is because we do not text about car parts. We don't use Blackberries or Apples either although we do like to eat them when fresh and in season. We do use telephones and e-mails as well as smoke signals and dinosaur talk. We leave tweeting for the birds because they are better at it and obviously we are enthusiastic users of properli speled werds. No Facebook or social networking promotional stuff either although maybe someday maybe we might. We do e-mail pictures of our painted body parts but they are parts of cars. All of our sometimes prolific writings and photos about cars will be found herein.
We don't know why this is so, but readers quite often tell us that they get all excited about their cars again after reading our car tales for a time and we thank our reader clients that drop us a note from time to time telling us how they enjoy reading our automotive meanderings yet we do suggest that no reading be done whilst driving. Stay safe, stay healthy and have a great time with a car.
For information about proper motorcars like Rolls-Royce and Bentley parts and services, please go to our Rolls-Royce and Bentley sections.
Cars with a second act
Click the blue hyperlink and have a gaze at interesting cars we have for sale.
The cars that we offer for sale all have varying degrees of experience because we don't sell new cars. In fact only a few of the original manufacturers of the cars we work on are still in the business of building cars.
Sometimes we offer restored and finished cars and good street cars. Unfinished yet worthy projects from mild to fairly wild are available for consideration now. We also offer intensive pre-sale inspections on cars being considered for purchase from any seller. We have car projects for those that enjoy mechanical challenges to blow off steam or just because they enjoy rebuilding cars.
Way Down Under
Once upon a time, we had some brave Aussies come to visit. They had noticed some cars we had for sale on our website and traveled from Oz to here to purchase an Austin Healey 3000 parts car that had been rotting into the ground for some 25 years in the back of our property. The car split in two when they moved it as the frame had rusted away. They wanted this particular car as both of these blokes had a desire for a great challenge that would take them years to do. Australians are not lightweights. They stuffed both halves of the car into a 20 ft. container along with a much nicer Austin Healey 100/6 and a lot of spare parts and back to Australia they went. From time to time they send us photos of the progress and of the complete new frame they hand built. We learned to have a lot of respect for the wild men from Down Under.
Our inner pages illustrate some of the utterly vast array of parts and services we offer with many photos of typical works in progress while muttering about car stuff so have fun exploring our site as it has many pathways and destinations. If any questions arise, just ask!
Working with and supplying parts for great British sport cars such as this cool Austin Healey 100/6, MGA Coupes and many cars that were manufactured in England are what we do. The director of our company has owned an Austin Healey 3000 since 1972 and had the great pleasure of enjoying a luncheon with Donald Healey before, not after, Don passed away. The Donald inscribed a book that he wrote to Scotty telling him, "Thanks for maintaining the breed and your blue 3000 is my favorite colour. " Of course he told all the other Healey owners that were also attending the event that the color of their cars were also his favorites and why not?
Fear the Driving Dead
Sometimes we come across a car that might ought to be dead due to major structural rust or intense damage but the car refuses to go gently into the night because of continual stays of execution from a successsion of owners and their good intentions. Perhaps in a moment of wild abandon an owner paid too much for a "Formerly Known as a Car" and hence despite large outlays of funds expended for unsuccessful efforts the owner refuses to acknowledge that the car is doomed and their investment is kaput. Sometimes frustrated owners will place such a car in storage for many years until the car is eventually sold to another owner and the cycle of doom begins once again. This depressing scenario can be avoided though. Evaluating a vintage car takes an expert eye that is emotionally not visually detached and because considerable experience and time taken to learn about a cars true condition is required as many bad things can be well hidden or may be hiding in plain sight waiting to consume an unwary wallet.
Frequently we bring cars back from the dead or from long deep sleeps. The ancient Egyptians carefully preserved their dead for an afterlife and were really into their mummies in those days. Maybe the ancient Egyptians should have built cars instead of mummies.
People today usually don't do much to preserve the dead cars they own that are hanging around. The old car will be parked in a barn, storage shed or outside and forgotten until someone with an eye for hidden dusty or rusty beauty comes along to rescue the car. Many owners are reluctant to let their cars go even though the car may be in dire straights. They like their car but just got busy with non- car stuff like families, work and worthy causes. As human beings, our lives pass through many phases and levels of responsibility so sometimes favorite cars are stowed until a more "free" or financially advantageous time arrives and owners and their favorite cars can play together once again.
Our unreal world experience has without a doubt greatly enhanced many car owners driving pleasure and this is what these cars are all about. We are skilled in the ways of fine craftsmanship and possess considerable product and technical knowledge learned from working upon and studying mechanical and electronic designs used on these cars for many years as well as successfully and continuously completing difficult assignments every day of our five day work week. On a daily basis we work with cars that have been long stowed as the emotional appeal of a car can run deep and owners will hang on to them until they find someone that they trust to fix the car properly.
We perform bench work (assemblies that can be done on a bench, please don't send us your broken benches) for mechanically minded enthusiasts and shops that have chosen to have us perform critical and safety related aspects of their restoration projects as well as perform all manner of services. Successful workmanship on fine cars or anything else requires highly refined skills earned from many years of learning experiences. In many circumstances, automotive shops and owners can move the required work forward by sending us critical or complex components for proper and speedy as possible rebuilding or repairs. We always work with "deliberate haste" to transform leaking or no longer operational assemblies into nicely working condition.
A scarce 1961 MGA Coupe heads out!
Our hours of operation are from 9 a.m. until 5:00 p.m. USA central standard time during weekdays. Weekends we are closed but e-mails come in 24/7 from all over the planet.
We have a traditional Scotsman's penchant for wasting nothing because nothing is something that should never be wasted whether you have a little something or a lot of nothing.
Carved into an old tree on the Island of Skye around 1668 by Skye King MacClymonds XXI
Part of our model car parking lot in the reception area which is sort of a museum of sorts as our owner has collected a lot of car related stuff over the years. As a matter of interest for potential visitors our restoration workshop and our parts division stay very busy. The nature of our business is of course very interesting to enthusiasts wanting to 'wander" about. However as our primary focus is concentrating on doing good works and meeting obligations to our clients, we are no longer able to give personal tours of the workshops so that we can continue to perform automotive services as well as make our clients restoration dreams come true. Please call ahead of time for an appointment if you want to make a personal visit for parts. We don't mean to be rude but have much more to do each day than hours to do it as the world economy has made us all the busier with internet based parts sales. This is a phenomena we don't fully understand but there it is and we are humbled.
We have done this sort of work for for astute, sensible, intelligent, thoughtful, fun loving and sharp dressed clients for 39 years or more in Houston Texas a place famous for mosquitoes that are so large and ill mannered the buzzing buggers are often mistaken for small aircraft or drones.
Owners of cars in Austin, Dallas, El Paso, Fort Davis, Fort Worth, Houston ,Dubai, New Orleans, California, New York, Egypt, Mexico, Louisiana, Brazil, Oklahoma, Italy, California, Guatemala, Cuba, Lebanon, Austria, New England, New Zealand, Puerto Rico, Austria, Norway, Florida, Quebec, Ecuador, Spain, Russia, Alaska, France, Michigan, Hawaii, Japan, El Salvador, Ghana, Canary Islands, Saudi Arabia, Bolivia, Galveston, Suriname, The Kingdom of Bahrain, Slovakia, England, the Dominican Republic, Zambia, Bermuda, Abu Dhabi, Israel, Venezuela, Switzerland, Puerto Rico, Chili, Argentina, Japan, the Czech Republic, Maine, Germany, Australia, American Samoa, various islands and the Philippines, every state in the USA, just about every province in Canada or just about anywhere in the developed third galaxy have found that purchasing parts from us gains a car owner much more than just the parts.
This Mercedes Benz W109 3.5 300sel is like a very big black swan that is not to be messed about with but does enjoy the parts we supply. We also supply parts for vintage Mercedes Benz 6.3 litre M-100 300sel. , 280sel, 250C and classically styled 109SL, 230SL, 250SL, 280SL, 350SL, 450SL, 500SL and 560SL cars. We have restored quite a few SL's. Check our Restoration section for photos. Vintage Mercedes Benz cars from the 1950's to 1980's are old friends here and we can offer many suggestions on what to do to improve these cars from age related deterioration.
Our highly regarded and famous throughout the entire Milky Way Service Department possess many vintage factory special tools and diagnostic equipment for Rolls-Royce and Bentley cars as well as for vintage Jaguar, vintage Mercedes Benz and some others as you can't fix the cars without a lot of suffering unless you have the right stuff. We offer extensive high performance Weber and Dellorto carburetor tuning and rebuilding services. Our well known except for those yet to know us spare Parts Department is able to supply a massive (billions and billions) array of Rolls-Royce parts, Bentley parts, Jaguar parts, MG parts, Triumph parts, Mercedes Benz parts, Austin Healey parts and accessories for many such cars. .
Comuniquese con nosotros por e-mail (por corréo electrónico)
para sus piezas de automóbiles Ingleses y de Mercedes Benz"
The Bee's Knees of Electronic Ignitions
We are a world wide distributor for Pertronix Electronic Ignitions and performance products that replace antique and unreliable point style ignitions with tiny (inside the distributor where it cannot be seen) state of the art electronic ignitions available in both positive and negative grounds for MG, Triumph, Jaguar, Rolls-Royce Silver Cloud and many Bentleys, Mercedes Benz 6.3, 3.5, 280 and just about any car or machine that uses ignition points.
We fit these ignitions to just about every
points style car that comes in the shop. Owners appreciate the vastly increased
reliability and smooth performance. Own a forklift or a pump of some sort that
uses points? We can probably help. These ignitions and hot 40K and 45K volt
coils have wide applications for farm machinery, fork lifts and industrial
engines as well as cars and boats of all sorts. A link to the full catalog with
applications and technical information is included on our Pertronix information
Sir William Lyons, the founder of Jaguar Cars, once proclaimed, "The car is the closest thing we will ever create to something that is alive." The great old designer passed away in 1985 and obviously never saw a lava lamp. Vintage Jaguars are always cool anyway even if they don't have a lava lamp option.
Perhaps you want Us to Tire you Up
We offer Austin Healey 3000 tires, Austin Healey Sprite tires, Jaguar XK120, XK140, XK150 tires, Jaguar E-Type tires, MGA tires, MGB tires, MGC tires, MG Midget tires , Triumph TR6 tires, Spitfire tires and Bristol and Aston Martin DB 2,3,4,5,6 tyres. You want great tires for your ride don't you? Of course you do as you are no dummy as dummies seldom read this far into our website. Check out our Vredestein tire section here.
The Sum of all Fears
We don't think a car is supposed to drive like a heap of junk because the car is an older model. We reserve such judgments for cars that actually have devolved into a heap o' junk based on many factors other than year model. Great cars have been built for over a hundred years and all special interest cars have their unique charms.
Quality parts and a shop such as ours that seeks to properly care for vehicles and owners automotive requirements with a long term view are a natural combination. Worn out parts and rotten tires will cause any car to drive like a wallowy old lump no matter the age of the vehicle. Who willingly wants to drive a car that steers like the Titanic or rides like a wheel barrow? (Think Vredestein tyres, mmmmmm good!)
An interesting human phenomena is that many owner/drivers simply do not know or perhaps no longer remember what their car is or was supposed to drive like.
Suppose the car in question is considerably older than the present owner? This is happening more and more as time goes by. Frequently we are working on cars for the second and third generation as the car gets passed down the line. The car might be the only similar car an owner has recent and intimate experience driving or they might have been in the car as a child with grand daddy or grand mammy behind the wheel or perhaps there is no tangible personal reference experience. In other situations whereby an owner may have owned a car for a long while the car and the owner are slowly mellowing together through the years as old friends will do and normal wear and tear in the suspension or steering or slow deterioration in the cars performance can be subtle but certain.
Typically, owners may buy a car and just assume it is what it is instead of it is what it was or it was what it is now. ( Got that? Now repeat it 129 times as fast as you can.)
We authoritatively assert that a car can be whatever a quality shop or person builds it into by properly sorting out known ailments, adding effective yet subtle enhancements and working out potential problems before they occur. Our goal of course is to return a car to an owner in such a condition that the car will perform well for a long time without problems. We believe in educating our clients about their car and what the possibilities can be. If you don't know, how can you know better?
A question we often hear is, " Why should I spend all that money fixing my trusty and much beloved old car that has given me countless hours of fun when I probably cannot sell it for a small fortune or even for the restoration cost?"
Well, what worthy objects of desire are worth what was paid right after purchase? Is the immediate goal of restoring a car to sell it? Sometimes this is the plan and sometimes the point is to be able to enjoy driving the car. These days lots of things, everything, loses value after purchase, yes? A new car loses lots of value when first driven from the car lot. Most products have greatly diminished monetary value after purchase and are difficult to sell for much. We buy these products simply to do the job they were purchased for. In stark contrast are certain cars in good condition that deliver continuous pleasure for protracted periods and still maintain considerable value that in many cases hold steady or rise. The enjoyment of owning and driving a fun car cannot be accurately nor quantitatively measured with traditional accounting methods. Having a great time driving a cool Austin Healey or Bentley is just that. of all the things in life worth paying for, food, health, shelter and fun are surely to be ranked amongst the highest of priorities. Money can't buy you love but it sure can buy you a fine car.
Our firms are not affiliated with other companies that may or may not have similar names or may otherwise be engaged in any aspect of the automotive business. Feel free to use any catalog, parts book, website or whatever to order parts from us or just tell us what you want and we can work up quotes and availability. We work with factory part numbers or vague descriptions for that matter. We are doing our small bit to save trees, stamps, ink and lessen trash by not publishing paper catalogs.
Click here to go to our cars other than Rolls-Royce and Bentley spare parts page or go back to the top to check out our various chapters about cars.
A rhyme not worth a dime is a crime ( on a good day)
You don't have to be a snoot
or an old coot
to have a hoot
driving a PMC
yet some loot
can make a commute
attributed to Robert Frost MacClymonds
You might say that if websites had lips then the rest of our website surely must have a stiff upper lip.
And now for something completely different...
We are are much too shy to post our time sculpted faces all over the internet. So.
Here are photos
FiFi enjoys looking over Scotty's shoulder from time to time to make sure he is
ordering enough cat food for the week.
In this photo, FiFi was less than a bit annoyed from waking up to a camera flashing in her face during her regular afternoon siesta in an empty parts bin.
Here is a link to some
things we offer for car interior protection so animals can be transported or
hang out in your car and the cockpit won't be damaged during a road trip. If
some of these items interest you and you want to order them, let us know. We
highly discount these products to animal rescue groups to use for fundraisers.
We support many animal rescue groups and also foster and board dogs awaiting adoptions with organizations such as e-rescue-houston.org and www.scoutshonor.org These dedicated groups have fine dogs and cats of every breed, shape and size available for adoption. Why buy a dog when you can find wonderful animals at the animal shelters? There are lots of fine dogs that need a good home and they will love you when no one else cares.
Scotty's lovely, entertaining, highly intelligent and you never know what she will do next wife used to do a daily Pacifica radio program called "Adopt a Friend" that helped find homes for rescued dogs, cats, chickens, burros, horses and rabbits. Some of the the theme songs were, " Find Some Bunnies to Love" inspired by the Jefferson Airplane and "What's Up Pussycat?" sung by Tom Jones. The main theme song was Carol King's, "You've got a Friend" performed by a variety of artists.
Life is a lot more fun with animals and each of them have as distinct a personality as any human only without the dark side. We have many animals sharing our lives so we have lots of fun.
Did you know that rescue animals can be transported to most places in the USA as the animal rescue groups around the country support each other and have their ways? Check out www.huskyhaven.org or e-rescue-houston.org for information and pictures of Siberians and other dogs and cats that would like a nice home. They have really beautiful animals.
Isis the Princess of Love was but is no longer is available for adoption as we took her into our family. We are known as repetitive foster failures and don't feel a bit bad about it! When we picked her up from the Houston animal pound she had a bad lung infection that almost killed her. Isis spent six weeks at a kindly vet's clinic being nursed back to health. She is such a lovely dog with a sweet personality and the vet could not give up on her and we so so happy about that. If you are interested in adopting dogs like Isis or any animal, contact the animal rescue groups in your area or at any of the links above.
In response to requests for more photos of our animals (this is supposed to be a car web site you know) here are a few more:
This is our gorgeous male Siberian Aston who we rescued from the streets. He had Sarcoptic mange, which is contagious, but we kept him away from our dogs while we treated him and now he has been part of our pack for over 9 years. He loves to talk, is extremely friendly to all dogs and will give kisses to those who want them.
Here are Aston and Isis in love. Both are neutered or spayed of course but they are star crossed lovers in every other sense. Aston walked off the streets and into our workshop one day as a young nine month old wandering pup. He was nodded off in a corner of our office floor when we found him. Aston had been on the street a while, had mange and was thin but otherwise ok. He is a fantastic fellow with a voice like Pavarotti. He enjoys singing his love songs to his girlfriends Isis and border collie Daimler. We enjoy his songs as well.
Here is Aston buried in toys. Obviously Aston is a very laid back dog.
Here are Aston, Isis and our brilliant, much smarter than honor students border collie Daimler Benz hanging out after a hard days work of hanging out. Daimler has a vocabulary greater than many humans it seems. Border collies are amazing. They know what you are thinking sometimes before you think about it, like when the exact time of dinner is.
Sweet Daimler waking up from a nap. Daimler is frustrated because she has no sheep to herd and has to make do with a Frisbee.
Here is little blond Tazzmo-mon our elderly gentleman cocker thinking about stuff. We found the young ( at the time) Tazz when we came to work one Monday long ago laying in the gardens in front of our workshop. A wanderer, he had been mauled and a bad infection had set in making him unable to walk along any further. The Tazzmo also had a puncture wound to his neck and we believe that he had decided to die in our gardens as the infection was very bad by that point. We brought him in, had a vet work him over and he was with us ever since. He was a true gift from the streets and a great friend.
Contact some animal rescue groups. Find yourself a great friend!
Hurricane Ike left many traumatized animals behind. Their homes were destroyed and their lives have been shattered. If you want to help an animal that really needs a friend, contact the animal rescue groups and Humane Societies on the Gulf Coast and you won't regret it.
As President Harry Truman sort of said," If you want loyal friends, adopt some dogs."
Here are a pair of little pups we rescued. The black one was hit by a car (that did not stop) right in front of our workshop. She had managed to crawl out of the street and into our gardens and that was as far as she could go. We named her Driving into Miss Daisy or Daisy for short. Daisy had some fractured bones but has recovered well with some weeks of care and isolation. The fine looking brown dog is her loyal sibling that would not leave her side when Daisy was hit by a car. We named him Bentley. We heard the cries of pain and found them starving, thirsty and needing a friend. Luck was with them once again as we took both to the vet for care.
Daisy on the left was adopted by some cool people in San Francisco. Bentley grew into a beautiful dog. His naturally loyal character is growing and he loves to hang out and just be a happy dog. We think he must have been a combination of horse and dog as his legs are very long. Bentley has now been adopted by a lucky family in San Antonio. These two were a pair of lucky dogs that found great homes.
We have now taken in Kayla, a nice little stray street girl that we found with one of her toes almost ripped off. The toe bone was sticking out. She was a mess. We took her to the Animal Hospital in Houston where we had her toe cleaned up and she was spayed. She is responding well to good food, A/C and lots of playing with our dog pack. The toe is healed up and she looks great. Kayla has a sweet personality, a pretty face with nice markings, is not interested in cats and likes to hang out and play with other dogs. She is a great companion. If you are interested in adopting her, let us know. In these photos it's about 103 degrees F. outside and she is a little hot dog.
Our canine family hanging out.
We receive an amazing number of e-mails from fellow animal rescue people out there that find our website while searching for British car parts and it is good to know that you are doing what you do.
We adopted a beautiful now golden one eyed Cocker Spaniel that came to us from Gulf Coast Cocker Spaniel Rescue in Houston. Her story is that someone in a car saw another car driving down the road which slows but does not stop and the people inside the car throw a little dog out a window and into a ditch. They speed off. The amazed and nice person took charge, saved the dazed little girl and turned her over to the dog pound where the Cocker rescue group saved her from lethal injection. Little Farina was understandably a bit freaked out when we received her but we have been working with her for a while and now she is just fine. She has a sweet disposition and gets along great with our dog pack.
Here is another addition to our pack. Lola was a foster with Red Collar Rescue, but she is such a lovely dog we decided we wanted her to stay forever. Be sure to visit all of their great dogs and cats up for adoption at www.RedCollar.org.
A local Houston rescue group, Scout's Honor Rescue, is helping our dogs and cats not only by rescuing them from certain death at our pounds, but also helping them long-term by sponsoring free spay and neuters by using the SNAP (Spay/Neuter Assistance Program) mobile truck. If you want to help contact SHR at www.ScoutsHonor.org.
Another recently-formed rescue group is Rescued Pets Movement. This group is unique in that they pull dogs and cats from Houston's local pounds and transports them to fully vetted rescued groups in Colorado who have foster homes and sometimes adoptive homes waiting. You see Colorado has had mandatory spay/neuter laws for over two decades so they do not have the tremendous overflow of pets as in Texas. If you want to help by sponsoring an animal and literally save their life visit them at www.RescuedPetsMovement.org.
The people that do such evil deeds? Well, you can probably guess what we think about them. Shark food? No, we like sharks.
A good thing to do is to look around your area for animal rescue groups and:
1. Send them some money. They will spend it on food and shelter for animals they have rescued.
2. Volunteer at an animal rescue group and walk some nice dogs, give them some love and let them know that life will get better.
There is a new HBO movie series called One Nation Under Dog. Check it out!
Animal Rescue Here are graphic photos of dogs that had a hard life, were rescued and we are helping them by donating money for their care at a local animal hospital. These are not pretty pictures but they are real.
The Car Party
"It’s difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it." -Upton Sinclair
Business websites are probably not supposed to publicly get into controversial areas like politics but we decided ignore reality and start up our own political party called:
"The Car Party"
You can join the Car Party freely but before doing so, do something extra and read all about it.
We were driven hard to do this because not enough Posidrive attention is being given to car enthusiasts by the shifty automatic hypocritical political airbags that undercoat our chassis and we are not going to be mufflered without loudly whining any longer. The Car Party is not Liberal, Conservative or Libertarian. We are not Commies, Anarchists, Totalitarians, Whigs, Monarchists or Dictators ( except for 1934 Studebaker Dictators) either.
We prefer to be thought of as Preservatives because we like to preserve things like old cars and also enjoy preserves of all kinds on our breakfast buns. Perhaps annoyed by the Car Parties accelerating popularity in the polls, the boring virtually brain dead political parties that have been in power for far too long want to muffler or tire us up and essentially lock washer us. But before such a thing happens--
Here is a list of our ever growing yet quite modest Preservative wants:
1. We demand that car manufacturers keep making quality parts for their models for 152 years.
2. We demand that all engines and transmissions on new cars continue to have dip sticks yet also demand that dip sticks not be allowed to drive cars.
3. We demand that computers no longer operate the throttle on new cars although the way some people drive this might be a good thing so we are open to negotiation on #3 but won't compromise until #1 and #2 go our way.
4. We demand that a healthy percentage of fast and beautiful cars be named after dogs.
A Ferrari Border Collie or a Mercedes Benz Dachshund or a Bentley Joe Cocker Spaniel or perhaps
a Rolls-Royce Siberian Phantom or an Aston Martin Mix.
5. We want chrome bumpers back.
6. We demand that car stereos look much like they did in the 1960's and 1970's with cool push buttons and knobs. Skip the digital distractions.
7. We demand that spare tire wheels be the same size as the road wheels.
8. We demand that no car part be priced higher than the value of the car after the car has depreciated for 10 years.
9. We demand that all aftermarket parts be made to the original quality or better than the original makers and that inferior quality parts can't be sold anywhere except inside the Kilauea volcano near the Hawaii Volcano Observatory with the exception that they can be sold to anyone we don't like.
10. The Car Party likes lots of horsepower and lots of horses. Many wild horses live on public lands owned by all US citizens. The U.S. Bureau of Land Management is a government entity long renowned for making very bad decisions because the people appointed to run it by various Presidents are usually sycophants that give a lot of money to Presidential campaigns so the donors will be appointed to powerful positions that allow them to promote policies that make them money. This is called give a little and take a lot. The BLM does a roundup of wild horses that are living on our public lands using helicopters and fuel that are paid for by US taxpayers. This is a very bad thing to be doing with public funds. Herding horses with helicopters is just disgusting. No real cowboy would do that.
These beautiful horses that were once free to live and roam are now sold at auctions and mostly shipped to Mexico to be painfully and inhumanely slaughtered and the meat shipped to Europe or Asia as some people like to eat horses. Without wild horses living freely on our public lands, free just to live and be horses, we are all diminished. We as a society gain nothing from slaughtering horses so why do it for the tax money subsidized money making benefit of a few?
The U.S. Bureau of Land Management or BLM has violated their own protocol of waiting until mid-August (after foaling season) to begin these horrible helicopter roundups. The BLM roundup last year resulted in the deaths of 21 horses due to dehydration and exhaustion. The BLM is moronically planning to do the same thing and thousands of horses and burros are slated for "removal" in California, Colorado, Oregon, Nevada, Wyoming and Utah all paid for with tax dollars. The USA and many states are going broke due to long term mismanagement and over spending yet spend tax payer money to abuse and kill wild horses living on our public lands. This situation is clearly stupid and the Car Party wants such policies stopped.
You actually can help stop this massacre of America’s wild horses you know. Contact your U.S. Representatives and Senators and urge them to:
Call on the Interior Department and President Obama to halt the BLM's summer roundups and contact Senators and Congress representative to use their appropriation authority to strip funding for this abusive practice. Congress says they want to save money? They should start by stripping funding for the BLM roundups.
Also support the S.A.F.E. Act to end the prospect of horse slaughter ever returning to our country and to stop the transport of our horses to slaughter in Mexico and Canada. Click here to take action now!
We are going to intensely question all potential political candidates that seek our highly coveted Car Party endorsement. Candidates must directly answer the following questions without using blank or shifty stares.
A. Can you spell automobile?
B. Can you spell automobile backwards?
B.2 Define what selibomotua mean to the future of humanity.
B.3 Do you think most voters are stupid, vapid or rabid?
C. How many cylinders does a Aston Martin DB4 have?
D. How many cylinders does a Jaguar XJ40 have?
E. How many cylinders does a Triumph TR7 have?
F. What is the sexual orientation of a Maserati Biturbo Spyder?
G. Should Maserati Biturbo's be allowed to get married and enjoy the same rights as cars without a turbo?
H. Does the candidate support the Preservation of wild horses and burros or does the candidate support the roundup and slaughter of wild horses and burros?
To start a politically Preservative car party in your area, just get on with it.
Our website will continue to publish any secret diplomatic cables we can obtain on how to stop engine oil and fluid leaks no matter which government agency threatens to stop us or listen to our phone calls.
Ok so truthfully no government agency has threatened us yet and they hopefully don't know we exist except when we file a tax form late or something. We surely don't have the notoriety of Wikileaks but at least we do not have the CIA, Gestapo or Scotland Yards of the world after us unless they want parts for their Aston Martin, Bentley or Rolls Royce spy cars and while we do sell silencers to anyone, they are a part of exhaust systems.
Ancient Tales from the Book of Mac
quidvis recte factum quamvis humile praeclaru
(whatsoever is rightly done, however humble, is noble)
Attributed to the rightly done, ever humble yet not so noble Hephaestuscot MacClymondsvitzoupolous II around 800 B.C.
There have been questions about the existence of the Book of Mac and a monk by the name of Cheese almost since the Age of Jazz began. It is said that the fabled book was bound in Fleetwood and was rumoured to have been either secretly hidden or hidden secretly by monks of the Theolonious order in a small Scottish cave known to a few to have the perfect humidity for aging cheeses as well as having great acoustics for the playing of bagpipes. The location of the cave has never been revealed by the monks because they are ornery and just won't do it. This said, the following story is to be found within the Book of Mac and revealed elsewhere should it ever surface in a legitimately recognized fashion. How we came to have these passages of the book is unknown even to us and we would not tell anyway. As some of the passages were illegible, we just made up the missing parts and added other stuff as we went along sort of like the Epic Tale of Gilgamesh and other great legends.
It is true enough but not completely so that according to scarcely known nor generally accepted ancient Greek lore that after sorting out a method and formula of wine making techniques and after a nice quantity was made, Hephaestuscot much too quickly consumed a great quantity of retsina wine while sitting near the shores of the Mediterranean Sea during a visit to the Island of Crete during which a violent sea storm suddenly came upon him. Between gusts of drenching rain and billowing winds, Hephaestuscot MacClymondsvitzoupolous was enticed by the Greek party god Dionysus to sing a story that became the premise to the iconic fable of the Odyssey whilst his old pal and drinking buddy Homer quietly listened nearby.
In exchange for the free entertainment, Mac begged the gods of Olympus for a hot girlfriend with whom he could share his songs of travel quest and recipes for vegan souvlaki. Long were his prayers unanswered yet eventually the goddess Athena, perhaps tiring of his lonely and pathetic pleadings decided to kill him for a little bit of amusement. Assuming the form of a pure white panther, She descended from Olympus to the island of Crete and eventually moved towards her prey. Athena’s unblinking eyes were a hypnotic yellow with swirling golden flecks within tiny whirlpools that surrounded deep black vertical slits of pupils. She might have gotten the idea for the eyes after reading the Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut yet no one knows for sure because Kurt had not made an appearance yet. The golden flecks swirling in her eyes reflected the light of the sun in a magical manner as She waited nearby until Mac walked past whilst on his way to the rocky cliffs to sing yet another passage of his songs of love.
Quietly and unseen, she followed. Reaching edge of the cliffs, Athena strode beside him and together they stood side by side at the cliffs edge. The beautiful beast and the song man were a sight to behold but no one saw them other than the gods in the heavens. Mac finished singing his latest verses and slowly lowered his outstretched arms. Feeling something furry with the fingers of his left hand and with eyes wide shut he gently rubbed the big cats head. Athena found that she quite enjoyed his touch and decided then and there not to kill him. She granted his request for a girlfriend and knew that not just any girl would do for this man of love songs and nice fingers. Athena enjoying the guise of the panther turned away and disappeared into the tall grasses that grew behind the cliffs. Long she searched. Long she hunted. Many days passed before she noticed a beautiful young girl bathing in a clear blue stream. Long hair as black as night the girl had with eyes that seemed as deep a blue as the Mediterranean seas. The young maiden’s great beauty might have rivaled Athena’s own to a human eye and a jealous and vengeful goddess Athena was. The great panther of Athena crept slowly towards the stream while never taking her eyes off the girl in the waters. Perhaps she would strike the girl down and rip her to pieces or perhaps not. As the goddess gazed into the young maidens face she noticed a small scar that traveled down the girls left cheek, a minor but life saving imperfection that saved the girls life.
Ride Around Anne-Oupolous felt a presence, a something that she had never experienced before. Looking towards the shore for what she did not yet know. After a time she saw the beautiful white panther calmly staring back at her. The golden flecked swirling eyes of the big cat transfixed her. The girls body could not move yet her long black hair twirled in the waters much like a fishtail. Time itself seemed to slow and perhaps it did as Chronos and Athena had a long relationship that we shan't speak about here. The panther goddess soon spoke using no sounds, her unblinking golden eyes never leaving the young girls blue eyes. Athena then changed into a two tone Silver Cloud and flew back to Olympus. Somewhat stunned by the encounter with a magical being the young girl swam towards the shore unsure of what had just happened. Her name was Ride Around Anne-Oupolous and she knew she was in love but with whom she did not yet know. She sat down and waited on the shore thinking about what had just transpired. She began drawing pictures in the sand of a man standing on a cliff with outstretched arms without kowing why she knew that find this guy she must.
In the meanwhile back on the cliff, unbeknownst to MacClymondsvitzoupolous, Homer surreptitiously wrote down all the verses when his not so good friend was not looking which was often enough as Mac was falling down with drink at the time. This is likely where cliffs notes came from. The winds were wild with wonder that day with dark storm clouds twisting churning swirling and rapidly forming and just as rapidly deforming the many faces of the Greek gods as they peered down from high in the heavens. The super beings were entranced from listening intently to Mac as he sang the story that many of them were involved in.
Imagine if you will that MacClymondsvitzoupolous himself with his long locks of remaining hair blowing loosely in the winds was standing and literally hanging ten off the very edge of the sheer rock face cliff. This vision is surely what could have inspired modern day surfers to hang ten toes off the noses of their surfboards.
The waves below MacClymondsvitzoupolous were stirred to a boiling froth by the turbulent wind whipped seas that crashed like massive cymbals against the barnacle and almond encrusted rocks. Great amounts of sea spray from the turbulent waters was flung into the air drenching the sheer rock face of the cliffs below his feet. Mac spread his arms and reaching for the heavens, sang the pilot version of the Odyssey for the great Gods of Greece. Poseidon arose from the roiling seas and joyously slapped his scaly hands together as the end of each verse was punctuated in riotous harmony with massive thunderous lightning bolts thrown down from Olympus by an angry yet laughing Zeus. All of this stuff has been found painted on countless ancient Grecian vases that were stolen by early British and French looters, now known as explorers, and are now supposedly secreted in museum vaults so that modern day history is not, well, upset. Maybe Wikileaks will eventually reveal something meaningful about it all.
It is widely believed by some scholars with their own agendas that the famous winged and now headless statue of the Victory of Samothrace on view in the Louvre Museum in Paris was probably created from inspiration from Mac's inebriated performance on that now very ancient day. As Mac completed his wondrous tale and the storm and seas grew bored and eventually subsided, he fell asleep for sixteen days. Homer spent the time leisurely ransacking the Mac's nearby Cretian vacation cave and found a rough draft of MacClymondsvitzoupolous's epic poem of the Iliad that was written in some 15000 lines of dactylic hexameters that was not so well hidden. Homer decided to run off to the Peloponnesus mountains and proclaimed both stories as his own once he figured out how to read and interpret 15000 lines of dactylic hexameters.
This was the first Home Run in unrecorded history. Truly it was.
Homer was a trusted friend that betrayed all that knew him sooner or later and some say that he was an ancestor of Brutus and Benedict Arnold but who really cares about that now? Not knowing about this theft, Hephaestuscot went back to his workshop known as MacClymondsvitzoupolous Billions of Cart Parts & Tasty Vegan Treats Company that was located in the shadows of the Temple of MaCoupolis. The temple was renamed the Temple of Acropolis a few hundred years later. He did not find out about Homer's theft of his tales for 47 years as news traveled slowly in those days as they only had fishing nets and no internets. The two men never did get along well after Homer began getting rich selling selling papyrus copies of the Iliad and the Odyssey.
In an angry snit, Hephaestuscot MacClymondsvitzoupolous II shortened his name to Scot MacClymondsvitz II and bid a not so fond farewell to the land and gods of the Greeks. He packed up his rare convertible special order 32 horse drawn Trojan cart with extra chrome down the sides and little nymphs painted on the hood and moved to an area then dominated by the ferocious, hard partying and heavily tattooed Celtic Tribes in a faraway land that would much later become the Czech Republic. On the way, he saw a girl walking down the dusty road eating peanuts and banging a large bronze gong. She was dirty and sweet as she was built like a car with a hubcap diamond star halo. She was just the girl he was looking for.
Ride Around Anne-Oupolous heard the cart coming and as it came closer, she banged her gong, turned around and there he was. The man that had been in her dreams since the panther that had turned into a Silver Cloud had changed her life was now driving down the winding road. MacClymondsvitzoupolous asked in song if she wanted to ride around as he was on his way to a faraway land. She looked over his ride, banged her gong and said. " Hey, let's get it on."
Scot then asked her what she wanted to be.
Says she, "Baby can't you see? I want to be famous a star on the screen
He says, "Movies have not been invented yet but baby, you can drive my cart and maybe I'll love you as my prospects are good. Eating peanuts is all very fine but I can show you a better time.
Says she, Listen babe I've got something to say. I got no cart and it's breaking my heart but now I've found a driver and thats a start.
And away they went and she became known through the lands as Ride Around Anne as all she wanted to do was ride around.
Arriving somewhere in Europe, whilst a pre-Czech and not when selling cart parts, Scot lovingly concocted and brewed a delicious plum brandy called Slivovitz, named after his 44th son with Ride Around Anne-oupolous. A few hundred years later, the exact date is unclear as no one cared, the MacClymondsvitz clan gave away the recipe for Slivovitz and moved with the Celtic tribes migration west to the northern shores of an insignificant little island with mostly bad weather and again shortened their family name, this time to MacClymonds. As the northern parts of this little island had not yet been named by anyone that spoke his languages, the currant Laird of the MacClymonds clan proclaimed the land to be Scotland naming it after the long linage of Scotty's beginning with the mythical and mystical founder of the family from the ancient days of yore and gore, the even more rightly done Hephaestuscotty MacClymondsvitzoupolous I, the inventor of the first independent suspension used for high speed 12 horse Chariot racing.
On the way to the future land of Scotland, MacClymondsvitzoupolous wandered through the city states that much later became modern day Italy. So as not to attract undue attention whilst traveling in these Roman lands , he changed his name to I. Scotticus. While visiting Firenze, in the inner city square he came across a young struggling artist by the name of Leo da Vinci, a poor but somewhat talented street artist that was struggling with a conceptual image that he was trying to draw. The two chatted for a while about architecture, wine and various philosophical design questions of the day and after a few bottles of cheap red wine, agreed that all things should be solid, useful and beautiful. A detailed observer, Leo looked deep into soul of Mac and drew a picture of a man within a circle with his arms outstretched. This drawing became known to a few as the "MacClymondsvitzoupolous Man" , The name of the drawing was later changed to "Vitruvian Man" by an unknown Roman that liked a guy called Vitruvius and this later name stuck through the ages even though plainly wrong to anyone in the square that day.
According to family legends that are based entirely on unverifiable hearsay, the famous circle of stones that are known these days as Stonehenge was actually designed and built by the MacClymondsvitzoupolous clan as they simply liked to build large structures from large stones to party and eat haggis with the Picts when the stars were in just the right places. A well known rune was sung in the ancient days by a family group of rock rollers that for several generations were responsible for moving the massive stones into position. This group was called the Rolling Rocks and arguments can be made that this band's name is surely where the term rock and roll must have originated. Their most well known song is loosely translated from ancient Celtic as " Everybody must get some Stones."
A descendant of MacClymondsvitzoupolous founded the first commercial distillery for Highland Malt Whiskey essentially for his own inspiration although it is relatively true that he sold a few drams on a regular basis to local pubs and individuals like Robert the Bruce that never paid their bill completely and to this day there is nothing else on earth like a fine Highland Malt Whiskey other than a great Slivovitz Brandy unless someone brings out a bottle of nicely aged Kentucky bourbon. The slogan inscribed on each malt whiskey cask was:
" Tis far better to drink it all now rather than later ."
The family never made much money from their distilleries as family members drank the profits and thus unknowingly began one of the first great Scots traditions of drinking the profits before the taxmen robbed them to further enrich the coffers of the English kings and queens. A matriarch of the MacClymonds clan, Anne of Smooths whose nickname was Plaid thought that fierce and manly men with great hairy legs and knobbly knees would look more fierce dressed in skirts so she wove one for her husband to wear thus beginning yet another tradition, the wearing of the Scottish Plaid Kilt.
In the olde days when the Scots were not trying to kill English tax collectors they were usually stealing each others horses which sometimes led to clan wars if the horse was especially handsome or winsome. The word Kilt was actually derived from the slaughter of many clans in Scotland that were mostly kilt in the tribal wars begun by the bloodiest of all the clans, the Campbell's of Soup County. The bloody Campbell clan began these wars because they could not obtain enough of MacClymonds Highland Malt Scotch and had to make do with lousy and usually spoilt British grog. The British made some great cars but their grog always left them in a bad humor. Thus the term "groggy" came to be when one was feeling out of sorts. Knowing that their fellow family members were better at brewing, drinking and carousing than doing the Braveheart fighting against the English thing, the MacClymonds clan traded their distillery for a massive wooden boat. The entire clan along with sixteen hundred fine dogs and a herd of cats of every known description sailed for what would eventually become America as there can be only one Scotland.
The clan arrived well before the infamous Italian fraud Columbus meandered over the Atlantic looking for gold for his Spanish masters wars and the clan supposedly had some fine parties with the blond and blue eyed Norse men and women that were exploring the frozen northern areas of the continent but this last bit cannot be documented. Thus the family does not celebrate Columbus Day and considers it an historical travesty and a day of infamy because not everyone gets the day off. Rumor still has it that several members of the clan split off, changed their name to MacClymondsvitzoupolouson and stayed with the Norsemen because blonds have more fun according to blonds and besides, the Norse were great skiers and have a cold and dry sense of humor. According to unreliable Norse legends to this day there are MacClymondsvitzoupolouson's still living somewhere in the Norwegian mountains driving old SAAB Sonnets, Daf Variomatics and Volvo 122S cars but there have been no documented sightings of any of them for a very long time.
As you might have garnered by now, the MacClymonds automotive heritage and direct experience with wheeled vehicles extends over some 2900 years at the very least and the Scotty that works today for the firm carries on that tradition. Surely no other automotive business can or perhaps should be silly enough to make such a claim as we have already done so. Prior to 800 BC, scholars have so far been unable to verify much but are seeking access to certain Egyptian hieroglyphics, now in the Cairo Museum that were found on a wall within a looted tomb somewhere near the ancient Valley of the Kings. These glyphs supposedly describe in an inscribed section that was partially damaged by tomb robbers, a reference to a MacClymondsvitzoupolous-Amun-Ho-Tep riding in a chariot with his arm around a hot looking blue eyed brunet with long hair while being chased by a pack of three headed dogs with cats on their backs wearing rats for hats.
We claim all these stories to be true because anyone has long passed that could reasonably remember otherwise and any evidence to the contrary has long since passed into the darkest of shadows. Besides, we would not believe contrary evidence anyway because we simply don't want to.
Some recently discovered archeological finds in Lebanon seems to show that a MacClymondsvitzoupolous branch of the family was involved in the making of olive oil some 2000 years ago. It seems that this MacClymondsvitzoupolous was sitting under an olive tree and a branch full of ripened olives fell on his head knocking him right out. As he lay unconscious, a trickle of olive oil that came from some crushed olives in the branches made it's way onto his lips. Awakening, the Mac awoke to the wonderful taste of fresh olive oil and knew he was onto something great. This land was inhabited by the Hattians at the time although it is not known if the MacClymonsvitzoupoulous clan were allied with the Hattians, an ancient tribe that inhabited these lands or the later Hittites. Little written language remains but it is known by unknown persons that the Mac Olive Oil Company was responsible for the export of olive oil to points around the Mediterranean Sea as earthen vessels with a motif of cats wearing hats have been found on the sea bottoms for many years. So the Mac's could have been Hits but were most certainly the earliest Cats in the Hats.
All of these stories are ancient closely held family secrets that were never revealed until this or that moment.
Rewriting historical events is usually advantageous to those doing the revising and with this long established tradition that was initiated in the stories above we with great relish reveal more exceedingly well varnished truths loosely mixed with general self serving falsehoods.
And so it is and was...
that since well before the year of 1776 our ancestral firms were engaged in fully as well as partially restoring, servicing, repairing and supplying parts for a vast range of vintage and current model British wheeled vehicles.
And so it still was
that whether on not we were considered to be patriots or traitors depended on which side of the Revolutionary War a person was standing and our ancestors were sort of standing with both sides depending on the weather. Our founding fathers and mothers used to hang out with Thomas Paine talking long into the evenings about radical topics like freedom from speed limits. Some people have said that Paine based his highly inflammatory and revolutionary pamphlet "Common Sense" on those very conversations. The work has been described by the Pulitzer-winning historian Gordon S. Wood as "the most incendiary and popular pamphlet of the entire American revolutionary period". Thomas Paine pushed ideas for democracy against monarchy as well as for American independence from British rule. He did this without knowing how very messy democracy can be.
Thus there are people that still think that British cars are sometimes a Paine but British car owners still stiffly wave the rules and their upper lips whenever they are able.
Let it not be said that if truth were to be told there is not much truth but a little in our revisionist history to be imperfectly honest, rightly or wrongly, depending on how a person regards the situation, namely that the British Redcoat regiments did look rather silly just standing still in neat rows whilst awaiting for a properly attired and trained army to fight against in the time honored manner of hand to hand combat until the last man remained standing. This was was a stupid way to settle an argument but that was how such matters were done. The mostly conscript troops waited in the wide open fields, resplendent in their bright Red uniforms adorned with polished brass buttons while the Revolutionary marksmen shot them down from vantage points located behind trees in what was arguably the first occurrence of guerrilla warfare. These British soldiers were known as bonkers because they usually were walking down a street in England after leaving a pub and an enlistment agent hiding in the darkness would try to bonk them on the head. The unconscious and unfortunate lad would wake up with a headache on a ship far at sea and was in the service of the country henceforth like it or not. This sort or forced recruitment was not the best way to instill loyalty but the royal armies of the day were not much into volunteering in those days and wars had to be fought for the usual reasons.
A little known and perhaps unknown fact (we love unknown facts because we can do what we like with them until they become known and then they are semi- facts) of any era is that our firm "loaned" (essentially he drove off when we were not looking) to General George Washington one of our cars to battle the British Army regiments led at the time by General Cornwallis. Corwallis was a typical aristocrat and drank a lot ofg grog which made him quite groggy. Contrary to some sleazy tabloids accounts of the times it was not our fault that General George on a frigid winters night perhaps after drinking a few too many bitters, attempted to drive across the Delaware River in our wagon which broke through the ice and sank like a stone. Almost a frozen stiff, George was quickly rescued by a small boat (well, the boat did not do much other than stay afloat) that was crewed by one of our ancestors attempting to get the keys to the wagon back. This is not the famous version commemorated by the painter Emanuel Gottlieb Leutze in 1851 that left the rescue guys off the canvas. We never liked that painting much and we never got proper credit for the loan of the car. Nor did we get paid for the loss of it! John Adams mumbled something inspiring about patriotism and the Continental Congress eventually gave our ancestors some kind of worthless writ. Maybe the U.S. Treasury will make the writ good someday but after all this time maybe not.
Some 200 years afterwards in the summer months of 1976 the Sport and Classic Car Company and several years later, The Billions of Car Parts Company were pre-founded on the premise that all human beings can equally bring their cars to and purchase their spare parts from, well, us! Once again we were ahead of our times so as to make mention. Our two firms are and have always been subsidiaries of a very serious and without the slightest bit of humor Texas based corporation (with a little "c") that has in addition to restoring British cars has recycled our waste oil, Freon, antifreeze, shipping boxes, paper, paper clips and just about anything we are able to.
In very recent times, we applied to the Government (all of them) for a couple of billion bucks to "restructure". It seems that our firm has a few too many "toxic assets" (rusted out old cars that we paid too much for with currently unknown values) and derivatives (junk parts that fell off the toxic assets) and we will be more than happy to sell them to anyone. We pointed out to the government officials within earshot that just like the too big to fail Wall Street banks, we were also to big for our britches to fail but we have not as yet received a check yet are ever hopeful.
Now that the US Supreme Court has ruled that Corporations, even little bitty ones like us have the same rights as human beings concerning political fundraising, we admit that we intend to buy as many politicians as we can afford. The problem is, most of them are valued much like toxic assets these days so how does one know how much to pay for a politician? Is a used politician worth more or less than a new one? Regardless, we intend to buy left and right handed politicians and also want the underhanded ones just to make sure. Once we have them in a pocket, our corporation might then just run for President. We think this is how it works anyway but it is confusing thinking that invented constructs like business enterprises have some of the same rights as human beings.
Revising the past is so much fun, let's do a little bit more!
So what was going on with the Canadians you wonder? ( If you weren't wondering or are now wondering why you weren't or why you should care one way or the other, this question might be answered somewhere else on the website. On the other hand, it might not be and if it is after all, the revelation may not actually be completely truthful.) We should submit a script for a TV show called Newly Found and Lost Land eh?
Speaking of "eh". .
And so it really was with the Canadians that a certain pre-Texican, once again one of our remote ancestors and a member of the clan of MacClymondsvitzoupolous, ran away from home as a young lad and stowed away on a Spanish galleon bound for the New World.
Bob the Hairy MacClymondsvitzoupolous decided to change his name to Roberto MacClymondsvitzoupolous-Hamilcar-Gomez so he would not attract attention. He was inspired partly by Hamilcar who was a 3rd-century BC Carthaginian general, the father of Hannibal and a dear friend of the MacClymondvitzsoupolous clan but the Spaniards at the time were interested mostly in torturing people and making them confess their sins so they could sincerely burn them alive at the stake and not feel too guilty about it during the Spanish Inquisition so the Spaniards did not closely inspect MacClymondsvitzoupolous-Hamilcar's passport papers well enough to deny him passage or to justify the pleasure of torturing him and making him willingly confess his sins of which there were so many in those days.
It turns out that this particular MacClymondsvitzoupolous-Hamilcar had once or twice upon a time, a time when Texas was an independent nation beholden to none except to those it owed money, offered to trade a nice car for a pair of good hockey sticks and a couple of Canadian provinces like Saskatchewan and British Columbia. Dutch traders got New York with some beads so why not a car for some land in the middle of nowhere? Of course pretty much everywhere was no where then. Sounds like a bad trade but cars were expensive and awfully scarce in those times as they hadn't quite figured out how to make rubber tires.
According to hand written notes found in a dog chewed hand written vellum diary stuffed into a rotten old leather pouch with several bullet holes of varying calibers punched right through in a tight pattern as if shot by a firing squad that was found beneath John Wayne's body, still clutched in his right hand in the very ruins of the hallowed grounds of the Alamo and passed down through many generations and pawnshops ( the diary) revealed that this Texican just wanted a cool place to show off to his friends that had lots of snow and ice around to hang out upon occasion because it's HOT in these parts and you need a lot of ice for a cool ice tea which is after all the national drink of Texas aside from beer.
Well somewhere in the deal making a Canadian Consortium led by a guy by the name of Chuck Canuck accepted the horses and four Maple saplings in trade as they wanted to ride around and make syrup. They then decided to stick with instead sticking it to their British King and kept their land as well as the horses and maple saplings. Now we hold no grudges against Canadians or anyone else above the Red River due to this very old transgression that has some doubtful merit of truth and that is a fact but every summer we still wonder about all that nice ice.
Texas and Mexico have been married for hundreds of years but the MacClymonds clan did not venture south of the Rio Grande river in the ancient days because the Aztecs were in control and enjoyed eating fresh and still beating human hearts that were ripped from the chests of their unfortunate living captives. There is something about that culinary vision that was really bad for tourism and economic development in those days. Texans and Mexicans have fought wars and been friends for centuries and today it's just all mixed up and everyone with any appreciation of fine machinery loves and hates British cars anyway.
So that is the short of it. The rest of our website is as serious as it gets.
We are overwhelmingly serious and without the slightest bit of mirth as mandated by our Texas company charter as all things, especially high school football, big hair, drag racing and droughts are serious in Texas. We sincerely give our words that not one double or two single funny things amongst the many cold hard automotive facts will be found henceforth.
12 Volt History.
Long ago, well before G3 cell phones or the internet had been invented or before much of anything commercially digital was available, our founder Scotty MacClymonds began his affection for fine automobiles and dogs as a small child riding around in his fathers cars, a much beloved 1956 Buick Special and later when the love faded, a 1959 Buick Invicta convertible. Scotty's first car was a very well seasoned (really beat up) 1963 Austin Healey Sprite. This car was replaced a few years later by a fine 1966 Austin Healey 3000 BJ8 which he still owns and there has been a long succession of vintage British cars and Mercedes Benz in his stable thereafter. He worked for Mercedes Benz and Lotus Cars between semesters whilst in college in the early seventies and developed an increasing interest for fine looking and driving cars. Thus the unusual marriage of British cars and classic Mercedes Benz in our service bays has a certain logic.
Scotty founded the Sport and Classic Car Company in the fall of 1976 as a full service and restoration shop. In 1982 he opened the British Car Parts Company division that with inspiration from the late physicist Carl Sagen, morphed into the Billions of Car Parts Company for over the counter and galaxy wide e-commerce automotive parts sales for Rolls-Royce, Bentley and many other British cars.
An Unexpected Journey
Scotty survived a bout with polio during the epidemics in the 1950's and was very surprised to discover this quark of the fates as he awoke mostly paralyzed in an Iron Lung breathing machine when he was about one and a half years of age. His father had taken him to a local circus the night before and this was probably where Scotty and his "future pre-existing condition" began a lifelong relationship. Instead of the usual sports activities most young boys do he turned to interests more cerebral and contemplative in nature such as pondering the philosophical nuances of vintage British sports cars.
Check out Iron Lungs and polio history here.
The polio virus is thought by many to be eradicated and gone these days but polio is still killing and paralyzing people, mostly small children that live in Syria, Pakistan, Nigeria and Afghanistan. Regretfully the Taliban thinks that polio vaccination is a CIA plot to sterilize Muslims. Taliban gunmen have murdered a number of health workers in Pakistan.
The World Health Organization has declared the spread of polio an international public health emergency and identified Pakistan, Syria and Cameroon as having allowed the virus to spread beyond their borders. It recommended that those three governments require citizens to obtain a certificate proving they have been vaccinated for polio before traveling abroad.
Here is an example of how stupid and uncaring a government can be about the health of their own people:
Pakistani Health Minister Saira Afzal Tarar says the WHO restrictions will be a "heavy burden" but Pakistan is implementing emergency measures to comply.
Pakistan, one of the poorest countries on the planet has the money to build nuclear bombs but spending funds to prevent their children from being paralyzed by polio is a burden.
The Bill Gates Foundation the Rotary Club have taken on the task of completing the eradication worldwide of polio and we say get it done and thanks a lot.
Scotty's almost lifelong goal ( since 1.5 years old ) has been to rid this world of stairs and re-educate architects and designers that ignore accessibility in their creations and in whatever small ways possible help make this world more accessible for all people. Scotty produced and hosted Access This! The Disability Radio Show for four years and the show was awarded the 2005 Barbara Jordan Media Award for featuring a variety of people with disabilities speaking about their lives and how they deal with a disability. The award was based on Scotty's work with the Veterans Administration on a series of radio shows illuminating the plight of returning wounded war veterans from the Iraq and Afghanistan wars with analysis of the historical and social aspects of physically and mentally wounded combat soldiers that returned home from the American Civil War and wars hence. Scotty also did a series of shows on Atomic Veterans.
We believe that the cost of all wars USA is involved with should be paid in full with a war tax and war bonds with no hidden costs like was done during World War II so that all citizens are participants finacially and and no injured soldier should get short shrift due to budget manipulating. If wars have to be fought then we as a nation should all have to pay for whatever it takes to decisively win them and to provide quality care for as long as they live for those that have fallen or were injured fighting in them.
radio show featured music from players like Dr. John, CCR, Django Reinhardt,
Chopin, Duke Ellington, Leslie West, Les Paul, Iron Butterfly, Patty Larkin, The
Chieftains, Vladimir Horowitz and more. Prominent doctors from the private
fields, the VA and various experts spoke about what's happening in the medical
world on a featured physical or mental disability or perhaps about research into
stem cells or the sexuality of people with spinal cord injuries. Scotty
was a speaker on a Nightline episode focusing on Hurricane Katrina with Ted
Koppel questioning experts about how effective rapid response will be for
evacuating people with disabilities from disaster areas when our US government
policy emphasis cutting funding for all social programs for people that need
help such as veterans with disabilities. Military veterans and experts explained
what Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is, what happened to the veterans and how our
government is helping or not. Attorney guests explained ADA issues and legal
remedies. Politicians make remarks about laws that directly affect people with
disabilities. Scotty was appointed to the Houston Mayors Commission on
Disabilities in 2006.
We also buy old British car dealer stocks and new old stock parts and buy lots of used parts from time to time as well. Bring them down!
"A wheeled vehicle will drive as well as the average condition of the total sum of all the parts that have not as yet fallen off."
attributed to Scot MacClymonds XXXI around 1571 but who knows?
The contents of our website are subject to change any time with new photos and material as inspiration strikes! Please check back from time to time as interesting jobs come through and various cars are offered for sale. Hit refresh and check out our car photo rotisserie at the top of this page.
Scott MacClymonds Inc. is a Texas corporation and in spite of rumors to the contrary, Texas is still part of the USA. The Company is based in Houston, Texas and conducts business through wholly-owned subsidiaries; Sport and Classic Car Company and Billions of Car Parts Company.
Unless you are moving on to read our serious and non -nonsensical automotive chapters about Rolls-Royce and Bentley parts and cars as well as many other cars good bye and good luck.
Come back again now that we have you right where you want us.
Live long and prosper.
We wish we more time to write a shorter website.
So say we all.
Sales and enquiries - Click this link: Britsh Car Parts Co.
Our earthly address is:
Sport and Classic Car Company
10525 Airline Drive
Houston, Texas 77037
Here's our number
so call us maybe...
18-Dec-2015 04:28 PM -0600